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Friday, December 12, 2008

Work Or Motherhood?

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life," and so goes a humorous quote. However beneath the humour lies a certain amount of truth that most working mothers would agree on.

A constant struggle between juggling the two roles - working and motherhood has not only recently been headlining the news but also something that probably every working mother would have on her mind at one point or another. A recent survey by Friso milk powder polled women who are working mothers, on what they desired most and the answer that came up was for husbands to pitch in more. Such a want is certainly not unreasonable.

Gone are the days when a child is supposed to be nurtured by maternal love, maternal guidance and basically everything and anything that is associated with the maternal parent. The importance of strongly-involved male parenting is greatly underestimated by the men themselves. Classes, books and forums are readily available for men to begin their influential journey into parenthood.

I caught up with Cheryl Liew-Chng, a human resource consultant. "Young dads are learning and gaining more exposure, taking steps towards the right direction in parenting," says Ms. Liew-Chng, a mother of three young boys, who seems positive on the role of fathers today. However to keep this positivism afloat among fathers, companies too need to do their part by allowing a suitable amount of paternity leave. Fathers should also be allowed a certain amount of leave that can be taken in times of family emergencies.

Birth rates are falling

For 20 years Singapore has been attempting to increase birth rates. The gradual decline is starting to raise an alarm through out the island as the percentage for needed for the population to replace itself is hitting a new low annually. More working mothers are stopping with just one child due to shortage of time, exhaustion and corporations that these mothers are employed in which discourage the birth of more children with the lack of friendly child policies.

Seeing parenting as a joy rather than a chore

In Singapore, with hectic schedules, most parents leave parenting to grandparents, caretakers, etc. However society and parents can improve such a situation. According to Ms. Liew-Chng, parenting should be made enjoyable. Holding a full time job does not necessarily mean kissing parenting time goodbye. It simply means that more care should be taken into allocating time for spending time with the child. Society, too, can make it more conducive by perhaps organising more events that family can be part of.

A silver lining through all these problems would be mothers being self-employed. On this note of self-employment, Ms. Liew-Chng has only this advice for mothers, "Be positive about what you choose to do or are doing. The best way to stay motivated is to remain positive and a strong passionate view about what you choose to do. Take obstacles that arise as a challenge and learn and grow from them."

Author:

Sangeetha Nadarajan

Writer

TheAsianParent.com

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