It Takes Time and Tears to Move On

There isn't a day that goes by, do I not remember how very sad I have been while my grief was still lingering debt consolidation loans fresh in my mind. The first day after my wife, Bobbie, died, I was afraid to go on living. I didn't see one reason to live. How could I live education loan consolidation I did before? A very big part of me had died. I no longer identified with my self. Each day I saw my life diminishing from a big, wide screen to a tiny fragment of shattered glass. My life was dark and hopeless. I couldn't see the light. I missed the bright and sunny world my wife helped to create.

As days passed by into months, then years, I began to feel a glimmer of a life worth saving. I had pleasant memories nobody could take away. The memories became my strength. I looked to the future with some hope. I became less depressed. I could get out of bed and go to work. Each and every day forward was less stressful.

Thinking back, my cat, Mandy, had a lot to do with my survival. Every night I would go to bed with tears and a heavy heart. I would just stare at the ceiling. Then came Mandy. She leaped on top of my bed and laid gently on my chest. She would do this each and every night. I remembered what my wife use to say about cats. She studied their behavior. She said, "Cats have a keen sense, they even can lie on a person and draw their pain out." This all made sense. Mandy leaped on my chest to try and draw the pain out of my aching heart.

Then one day, bad credit remortgage never met me at the door, like she did every night. I thought she would return eventually. She never did. Then the cycle of grief came upon me again. I missed her in every way. I tried to struggle with remembering how she acted the same day she vanished. I recalled that Mandy stood below my truck as I gradually drove off. She would not stop meowing and looking at me with her sad little eyes. At the time, nothing really dawned on me. But now that I think about it, she may have tried to say she felt Donepezil or needed me to pick her up and hug and kiss her on her cold, little nose--one last time. I wished I had left her in the house that day. If I only knew. If I only had a keen sense, like she did. Another thing my wife found interesting about cats, she said, "Sometimes they get sick and just go away and never return." I only prayed that a predator, like a raccoon, or a coyote, didn't kill her.

Each and every night, I prayed for her return. The cycle of grief was getting to me again--like when my wife passed away. Who would draw the pain from my heart now? Nobody did. I went to bed, sad and lonely like before. But I prayed the hope and strength might return again and recycle my feelings of despair. I knew that my life would get better some day, somehow.

One day I may fall in love again. I know my wife would want it that way. Or maybe one day I would take in a stray cat, like I did with Mandy. I knew that a good thing, like strength and courage, would repeat itself again. And that sadness and despair was a passing thing. I had faith and hope. Happiness and sadness recycle car insurance rate quote after time. This I learned in time.

There were no stray cats that appeared anymore. And I never bought one. Maybe one day I will adopt another--when the time is right. I learned a great deal from my wife--and Mandy. And I realized one thing--it takes time and tears to move on.

Earl D. Erickson is a freelance writer. He loves writing on the internet, and Ezine Articles. He especially loves to write true, nostalgic, and inspirational articles. He is currently writing a book about his struggles with alcohol, drugs, depression, suicide, anger, and bereavement. His book is entitled, Blurred Vision: Diary of an Incorrigible Alcoholic. He encourages and welcomes comments and e-mails from his readers.

Mr. Erickson owns and manages two different websites. Two of them are: ComfortAndLoss.comhttp://ComfortAndLoss.com and EarlErickson.comhttp://EarlErickson.com His hobbies include writing, reading, photography, gardening, fishing, camping, and the great outdoors. He is a native and lifelong resident of Tacoma, Washington.